i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
