she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
