You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
