btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
