Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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