The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
