My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
