White coat. Heels.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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