Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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