Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
