Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
