Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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