Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
