Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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