You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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