god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
