You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize