There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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