I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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