We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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