My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We have started to decorate penises.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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