how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
