We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize