thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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