I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize