Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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