This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Also, beer. Big fan.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
