escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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