I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
