Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
