Dude my mom stole all your condoms
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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