S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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