she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
dude. I can hear the air.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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