I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
