My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
