dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
