There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
