I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
