I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
