please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
