Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
