i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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