I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
