If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
