How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
