I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
