He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
