Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am spending my child support on dildos
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
