break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
