I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize