Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
