ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
