she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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