Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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