i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't deserve a penis
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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