I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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