jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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