To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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