I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
