The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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