Your tits are I can't wait for
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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