Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
