The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
