she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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